Do you journal? ....Maybe there is more insight available to us if we trust our mind-heart-hand connection and express ourselves on a page with colors. Consider an example of amazing emotional texture and quality from Frida Kahlo's journal:
|Pages from the published diary of Frida Kahlo|
gel ink on lined paper
Here's to the artistic value of words, images, and keeping a notebook. Picasso did. And of course, see The Diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait, hardcover, color drawings and phrases, thoughts Frida Kahlo colored/wrote down: In Spanish, phenomenal and striking.
The following notes are from my journal, and again, I suppose only breath and movement and an actual session would give clarity to them.
draw w/ mudra in yoga circles
circles everyone likes drawing
goddess, roll up, energy up. bend side 1/2 crescent moon
var. legs wide
torso circles, mudra over head
other side mudra
tai chi circles
skandasana UP use neck
look up last, hands dragged out front
turn head toward away hand
|Page of a dispersed manuscript of the Bhagavata Purana,|
(Collection at The Met)
Asana is an unusual position that, like unusual breathing, introduces a novel element into our habitual ways of doing - of sitting, standing, moving - and so clarifies these habits in our awareness. This also reverses the wandering (vgutthana, swerving from right course) and turns it toward the self. All yoga practice is like this: it keeps us immersed in and delighted by the process of transformation, which we recognize is accomplished both through our own efforts and through our acquiescence to a higher power.
Then, another insightful explanation referring to Patanjali's 3 verses on yoga in the Yoga Sutras, which the author, Rosen, begins by translating from the Sanskrit:
'The posture [should be] steady and comfortable [sthira-sukha]. [It is accompanied] by the relaxation of tension and the coinciding with the infinite [consciousness-space]. Thence [results] unassailability by the pairs-of-opposites.' Each posture is a skillful balancing act between making happen and letting happen. This recalls the two great wings of classical yoga, exertion (abhyasa which has the same root verb as asana) and surrender or dispassion (vairagya). When these two elements are in harmony in asana, the yogi relaxes or loosens (sithila) all physical and psychological tension; consequently the normally perceived boundaries of the body map dissolve, and consciousness begins to coincide (samapatti) with the consciousness that pervades all space, what Patanjali calls the infinite or endless (ananta).
To add a parenthetical comment about the Yoga Sutras, as I understand from Edwin Bryant's book referenced previously: Patanjali's yoga is concerned more with self-realization, whereas the object and goal of bhakti yoga is of a different, devotional kind (and thus more sweeter).
A dear man has passed.
Dear P.S., much love and joy to you now. Enjoy your great Western book
and see you...